My kid was quite small for his age when he was in little league, and he was awful at baseball - I think he maybe got 2 or 3 hits the entire time he was playing, but because he was so small, he had a really tiny strike zone, and he pretty quickly realized that if he just never swung at anything, he’d get on base every single time. It was kind of funny, in a sad kind of way.
I love how even in your dream, the third party candidate is still a senior citizen. Couldn’t break too far from reality.