Bob

I’d shit in my hands and clap before I’d work in another call centre. I remember one of the managers saying I go the toilet too much, so I told I’d just piss on the desk next time, and it just breezed over him like bullets over the Terminator.

I feel this’d make many people begin to associate the sight of their families with the stress of being bollocked for something that isn’t their fault!

I think gherkins from cold, dead hands might be considered a delicacy somewhere.

One thing I find funny about the original meme is that the hands are just dirty and manly, like you can’t see any calluses or cuts or whatever, so it’s like a hand shibboleth.

I’ve had to do it twice in my life, and I cut the hair with scissors first then used a cheap razor much like these: https://www.voordeeldrogisterij.nl/premium-laser-twin-wegwerpscheermes-10-stuks.html?id=272026839 Came off painlessly.

Undergoing severe semantic satiation here lads.

I’m fairly good at thinking up insulting nicknames, but I only ever give them to people above me in the work hierarchy. A boss where I currently work is called Jan, and he’s always fucking whinging about one thing or another, so I call him Jankerd (crybaby). A boss I had last year was called Onno, and he was fucking disorganised, so I called him Onnoverzichtelijk (disorganised). One of the managers there was a fucking idiot but he always walked around like the cock of the walk, so I called him Schaakduif (chess pigeon). His name was Abel so I’d also call him Incapabel. There was a lad there called Pepijn who I called Hoofdpijn (headache) for a laugh once or twice. You have to make your fun where you can, sometimes.

I believe the barrel gets very hot upon firing!

Your face made the wrong call switching places with your arse. Sorry, didn’t mean it.

This is what one of the stations looks like:

There are stations on Anglesey where you have to stick your arm out to hail the train, and the only two routes they lie on are served by the kind of 1970s DMU like you mentioned on its way to Chester or a Pendelino on its way to London or something.

Looks like he’s in hard mode.

Ha, must be free then! (dad face)

Sorry, what’s this have to do with Christian values? I don’t see the connection.

But you don’t have to eat meat or wear leather, and the current system relies on supply and demand.

I fucking love it when a dog looks to the side and you can see the whites of its eyes. So much character.

If you disagreed with killing animals for meat to begin with, you’d find this a very bizarre statement. It’s like saying we should use human teeth as a building material because it reduces waste from police violence.

You could also say, for instance, “I believe the autumn’s coming in late this year”, and what’s he going to do? Stop you?

You can say anything you fucking want in either context.

That sounds like an extremely posh nickname.