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Oh my god, finally. I’ve been wearing my Internet Cringe Police shirt all week and you’re the only one who has thanked me for protecting the American people with my life or my wifi or whatever.

My area has near constant posts about a vehicle driving by someone’s house, accompanied by blurry footage of absolutely nothing of note, and half the commenters are convinced that it’s for a crime and the other half are like, “you know this is a public street with other residents, right?” God forbid a realtor ever takes photos for comps. It’s the fucking mafia, out to steal all of Janice’s lawn ornaments, obviously.

It’s just an absolute black hole of suck, but I work for a nearby city, so it’s a good way to find out if there are resident concerns that aren’t batshit crazy, so I keep my account active. I can only tolerate about 5 minutes at a time, though.

Some did point that out - about 200 other comments fell all over themselves to thank him and blame “kids these days,” though, so it was pretty much the worst. My ex-husband spent a couple decades in the military, and he was suuuper uncomfortable being thanked, so I know that attitude is by no means universal. It’s just cringey as hell.

Brb, bout to post this on nextdoor and watch all my neighbors fight.

Seriously though, this dude made a post on there today about how he’s “been wearing his army gear the last few days and no one has thanked him for his service.” I would walk into traffic if I was ever that embarrassing.

An A2 and a B3 please.

Green, purple, brown. I don’t really like to cook, but pizza has a lot of variations so that would be nice. Talking to cats would just be kinda cool, and $20 is $20. I’m ace, prefer water, and have estrogen 3 of them would be a total waste, and the others just aren’t my thing.

Yeah and Mother Theresa and Gandhi better watch their asses.

I’m gonna torture Sally and her father. Not to get the location of the bomb, just because I enjoy it.

making rude gestures at a a dog

Whoa, why the heck would you do that? Dang, you need to rethink your choices.

I’m cis, so I’m not gonna try to give you advice about your feelings because that’s not my place. I can maybe help with the makeup though - check out Lisa Eldridge on youtube. She has some great tutorials for simple looks that are a good place to start. Alexandra Anele is another one who does tutorials focused on the way certain techniques change the way your features look and she’s a great resource for learning to blend. Drag queens are obviously the masters of things like color correcting a 5 o’clock shadow and feminizing features, but their other makeup is generally super advanced shit I wouldn’t even try to imitate.

I have Cholula, but yeah basically. Oh, wait, no, I don’t have Colorado but that’s because I live in Colorado and I think it would create some kind of paradox or black hole or something if I kept it in my purse.

I have your other clown apparently. Savory breakfast for life.

I do that with poblanos (and vegan chorizo if I’m feeling fancy), and I can confirm that it’s so good, and not terribly expensive. The last time I did it, it was probably about $10 for the ingredients, but it made enough peppers for 2 meals each for me and my mom, plus enough leftover filling for at least couple more.

That’s too many leches. The leche to cake ratio would be all wrong. I could maybe be convinced to do tres y medio, cuatro leches at the most, but no more.

Nuh uh, if you take even one advil, you’ll get pregnant and die! Your liver will fall out of your body and you’ll be on the streets, suckin dick just to buy the generics.

Leftover pizza is and always has been a valid breakfast choice, and I’m not going to be the kind of pedant who says that’s fine but other pizza isn’t allowed.

Completely unrelated, I ate half of a pizza for breakfast today.

My religious family gave up on the “you’re a sinner” lecture after I made it super clear that A) I don’t care and B) I’m not going to argue with them about it. If I got mad or tried to fight about it, they LOVED that shit, but being like, “yup!” and throwing some finger pistols their way and they don’t really have a response besides telling me to not sin. But they can only keep that up so long when you’re like, “oh no doubt, Uncle Fuckface.”

I mean, I also don’t talk to them anymore so that really solved the problem, but the cheerful agreement that I’m for sure going to hell got me through my teenage years/early 20s. Surprise, I didn’t get less queer even after all the lectures!

The government does issue passports in people’s preferred gender. They got rid of the requirement to have any kind of medical documentation a few years ago. Maybe he’s trying to stop that, along with being a total fuckin douche in general.

A few years back, I found my old ThinkPad that I bought used in about 2000 and it still worked, homemade Hayden Christensen background and all. I was so upset by evidence of 16 year old me being horny for Anakin that I almost threw it against the wall, but it probably still would’ve worked.