90% of the time it’s bigots who are upset that they’re getting deplatformed. The other 10% of the time it’s the incredibly idealistic or naive. Either way it’s a crap argument. You are under no obligation to endure verbal diarrhea, nor is it your responsibility to change the minds of the people spewing it. They shit the bed, they can lie in it.

Lemmy.ml has several solid communities, including the largest AskLemmy community. Their top 20 largest communities are all pretty mainstream and don’t really see the kind of posts/comments that make people wary of Lemmygrad or Hexbear.

Kbin is a combined implementation of Lemmy and Mastodon that works with both. You can view and post to Lemmy instances via Kbin and vice versa. That said, much like Lemmy it’s still being developed, so there are still bugs and inconsistencies that sometimes cause Kbin and Lemmy/Mastodon to not quite communicate with each other properly.

The one thing I’ve noticed is that Kbin’s federation with blahaj specifically is a bit lagged. Posts only show up after a pretty significant delay, usually about an hour. Also I’ve yet to be able to successfully make a top-level image post from Kbin to any other instance, so that’s annoying.